Decluttering 101

  • I got these *helps* from a website.........
  • If you have to go to 27 sites about cleaning your house up, search for ideas to help you,  learn and study ways to clear out your STUFF, watch three seasons of Hoarders, talk about it for 3 years......
  • YOUR HEART PROBABLY ISN'T IN IT.  We all know when we're ready to do this. Until then, just enjoy life, and remember, clutter is relative. Don't let somebody else's minimalistic lifestyle, ruin yours.
  • Have we used this item in the last year?
  • Used it?  In the past year? Are you kidding?  I haven't even SEEN most of my stuff  for 7 years.
  • Do I love this item?
  •  I had a high school history teacher that said you can't LOVE things.  My best friend kept saying she loved graham crackers, and he got so mad he could hardly talk.  He said you could only love people.  She never gave up.  Actually, with the people that were in her life, I can understand why she loved graham crackers. 
  • Does it make me happy?
  • If it made me happy, I probably ate it.
  • Does this item make my life easier?
  • If I have something that makes my life easier, I'm keeping it no matter how much room it is taking up. So clutter my house with it, please.
  • Does this item match my style?
  • Well, Hmmm.  Since my style is Extreme Random, then I can keep everything.  Nothing has to go, because most of my stuff is perfectly random.
  • Does it fit?
  • Yes, all 37 pairs of my shoes fit.  There.  Are you happy?
  • Do I have another item that serves a similar purpose?
  • Ok, I have a few too many purses.  Yes, I could start carrying all of my things in a bowl or laundry basket when I leave the house, does this mean I have to get rid of my purses?
  • Is the item broken and if so, it is worth fixing and do I have the time?
  • If my phone drops calls, and only has room for 3 apps.,  is it broken? Question #2, you can't fix stupid.  Question #3, ain't NOBODY got time for a phone like mine.
  • If I needed to replace the item, would it be expensive to get another one?
  • Yes, when I replace the phone I have, it will be very expensive.  I'm going Butterball on the next phone I get.
  • If we had to move today, would I want to take this with me?
  • We're not moving today.  I do think about the things my children will have to go through when I die....and I am semi concerned about it.  But you know what?  I'll be dead.  And it won't matter.
  • Is there someone out there that would enjoy this item more than me?
  • That is a pretty dumb question. I already ate it.
  • Comments

    Rebecca said…
    Hilarious! People should have to PAY to read this. Seriously. (And I feel better already.)
    Anonymous said…
    I agree with Rebecca...Hilarious! you are always good for giving something to laugh about !! love sis

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