Thursday, August 21

My View Today

Granted, it hasn't been very long since we've had an *empty nest*, but here
are my premature thoughts about it anyway.
I KNOW I won't always feel like this...but today, I do.
I KNOW I will get over the sadness, just not today.
I KNOW one of these days, I won't think a thing about getting groceries
for just two people.  Right now, it feels like I'm just going,
to NOT buy things.
Like noodles, girl shaving cream, animal cookies, expensive shampoo.....you know. 
Those kinds of things.
 

 
The Lord allowed us to have six kids, almost seven.
I have been pregnant for around 60 months.
Can't say I enjoyed every minute of that.....
but I did so love having babies.
I had names for LOTS more children,
but that is hardly a good reason to keep having them.
 


I lived cloth diapers, clothes pins, piles of little books, striped socks, baby spoons, fun bowls, kid radio, coloring books, play money, war cards, magic markers, Happy Meals, foam rollers, sweaters with pearl buttons, plastic flower rings, army men, water guns, purses full of ridiculous things, animal videos, fun ice cube trays, refill cups, cheap sunglasses, games, Lincoln Logs, Tweety Bird, little Bibles, Suave shampoo and hair clippers.
I pulled teeth, and pushed them out, saw teeth being pulled by green apple suckers.
Some of my kids might still believe in the Tooth Fairy, but not Santa Claus.
I still have the box of teeth I saved in case anybunny ever wants to see them all.
We bought bike tire tubes, band aids, socks, pencils, hair stuff, nail polish remover, macaroni and cheese, presents, grapes, French fries.....
we rode bikes in the house,
and
danced in every room.
I've cleaned up my share of throw up and other body fluids....I cut hair, I braided hair. 
I taught all of the kids and graduated 5/6 of them.
I turned off lights and turned on sprinklers.
I made out job lists and called them JOKE cards.
I took the boys mowing, kids to the library, poured milk and put a sheet on the couch
when one of them was sick.
We filled the garage with bikes, we took walks, ate three meals a day, had an 8 passenger van,
went to church every service except that ONE when ALL of us were throwing up....had occasional
E.R. visits, few doc visits, we camped, took all the kids to D.C. and N.Y., had trips to Kansas....
I've either been putting kids to bed since 1983 or waiting for them to get up
to drink coffee with me. 
I shared almost everything I owned. 
From French Fries to my jackets.
 
 
I never had an umbrella to call my own.
But if I had a dime for every book that passed through this house....
well....
I'd buy a leather Fossil bag.
I took the kids to my bedroom to *talk* to them.
I took them to Stop N Go so they could learn to drink coffee.
I took them to the store to spend their own money.
We also took them to Rhonda's shop....to clean....every other Monday morning for about 34 years.
The kids moaned and moaned.
But we made memories.
To make it better, Dad would always come back to Freeport on Gargoyle Road.
 

 
We were unpredictable when it came to holidays.
We tried to keep things shook up, so nobody would get in a rut and expect the
same things every year.  We thought random was good.  Still do.
 

HA.
One year, the tree was outside.
 

 
It was fun for ME to make sure you all had fun things to play with.
I guess there is a part of my heart that will always think that way.
My kids helped with yard work, they cooked, they did laundry, they swept floors, they moved things for me, they took out trash, they hung up sheets on the line, the watched pirate movies with me....and Ice Age.  We colored, we turned on music and cleaned......they found things I lost, they fed the dogs,
they washed the cars, swept the sidewalks, shook the rugs, got me measuring cups, helped buy groceries, drank Sonic drinks with me, played games with me....we visited till the cows came home,
cried and got over things with each other.
 

I loved being a mom.
But I'm now doing the math.
8-6=2
Two is not terrible.
It's just different.
 
Just have to get used to it.
It just won't be today.
 

Bear with me?
 
I'm sure my kids remember the poem .......
the one about the mom asking the kids to STOP doing things.
Then they do.
There, how do you like those apples?
 
Here goes my version....
it doesn't rhyme,
so don't look for it.
 
 

Stop getting in and out and in and out of the fridge.
 
 


Turn the lights off when you leave the room.
 


 
Stop washing clean clothes.
ONLY wash dirty clothes.
 


 
Stop making such a mess out of everything.
 



STOP watching Lucy re-runs......
 



 
Stop sleeping so late.
 


Stop it already with the 45 minute showers.
 


 
Can I just take a little bitty nap?
 


 
Will you leave the radio alone?
I'm listening to Rush.
Please.
 


 
Uh.
This is MY stuff.
You have your OWN stuff.
 


 
Can I just decorate the house like I want for once?
 


 
Nice.
Who drank all the coffee?
 


 
Don't eat the last banana.
 


 
Can you just TRY to walk down the hall and not knock pictures off the wall?
 




 
Stop eating cookies like you're the only one in the house.
 


All of my dishes are nested and will probably stay that way.
There are no toast crumbs around the toaster.
Nobody but me is eating the Biscotti.
All the chairs are pushed up to the table.
We all know where ALL the little scissors are.
No doors slammed, no bugs getting in, no unnecessary lights on,
 no pudding on the floor,
nobody tracking in sand and bringing home rocks,
the smell of microwave popcorn is not in the air.
 
It's a hard thing.
 


Just trying to not be this.
Trying to brighten the corner where I am.....
 

 
 
 
There, that's my view as of today.
Make every day count with your kids.
For one day, they will be gone.
Just like they should be.
And it will hurt.


 





 
 
 
 




9 comments:

Grammie Kim said...

Today sounds hard. Because of that, I am sending one of my biggest hugs your way, and praying for my best buddy. I love you, Mo. It WILL get easier...just not today.

Rebecca said...

Oh, my! I hear your pain. I can almost FEEL your pain. I'm feeling guilty. I never had quite the same pain. What's WRONG with me?

Norma said...

Awwww Mrs. Mo.... :( Love you and wish I could make the empty nest not feel so empty.

Leslie Berridge said...

Tearing up.

Rebecca said...

I forgot to say, "You are One Talented Writer"!

Anonymous said...

My Heavens Michele, you remember more than I do! I just remember Sunday mornings and getting to church on time! Since you homeschooled you were around your kids 24/7...I had a 8hr.break from my kids..so I can see how hard this has been for you. It will get easier! Love Kristi

Anonymous said...

Why did you only graduate 5/6?

Michele McEntire said...

Somebody else is going to be my closer. That person will finish up what I started.

Mud Boots and Cotton Dresses said...

Tears and hugs.