I bought a book that is titled: OUT ON THE PORCH, An Evocation in Words and Pictures.
I have seen sad movies and read sad books, but this one little paragraph really struck me.
The nursing home was stranded in the country, in an old cotton field, on a square of dead grass. It was rambling and squatty with a black shingle roof and not a leaf of shade. On the porch old women were rocking in the glare--white and black together in thin bathrobes. They watched me like birds as I climbed the steps, and the nearest one said "I can leave this minute if you find my shoes."
(Kate Vaiden by Reynolds Price)
When one is admitted to a nursing home, they don't come home. They are put in there for a reason, and the reason will not go away. We don't grow younger every day. It is a final living place.
So, here we have an old woman that would prefer to be somewhere else. She wants to live again. Run through fields, hug her babies that are now old themselves, eat ice cream and maybe even do some dishes. But she can't. She's not going home. She's not going to get any younger.
Why is she there? No family? Or just no family to love her? Did she live a meaningful life? Did she enjoy every day and make every moment full? Did she waste her time on things that did not matter? Is she tormented by thoughts of what she should have done? Is she wanting out of there to do things she never did, or does she want to go back to her life that was full of doing things for others?
Chances are, you are not in a rest home as you read this. Chances are, you CAN live. You may be hindered, but at least you're not in a rest home to live out your final days on a porch in a rocking chair. (Then....you won't even care that you finally have a porch.)
Surely you are not waiting around for somebody else to make your life bright and fair. Surely you are not wanting somebody else to assure you that your days will be merry and bright as in the Christmas song! There are some things we cannot change, but there are as many things that we CAN. If you are in a rut, it is of your own making. Don't wait for somebody to pull you out, they may not come. Don't whine, that same somebody might not be listening.
Ask the Lord to help you find your shoes and put them ON.
If I should ever find myself in a rocking chair in a rest home (there ARE worse things), I hope that I can look back and say I gave it my all. Every day.
He Giveth more Grace
He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.