Thursday, February 15

To answer a question.............

I'm going to put short quotes to answer the question that arose about the book I am reading. I said it talked about divorce becoming easy and popular in the 20's to the 40's............

Daily Life in the United States 1920-1940

much courtship had taken place in the home according to well defined customs

men could, of course, decline to call, but if they did proceed they ventured into the woman's environment

"dating" began to replace calling early in the 20th century

cities offered greater possibilities outside the home

courting couples began going on dates

lovers lane entered the vocabulary

dates cost money
men gained control over the choice of partner and the entire process

dating soon ceased to be just a search for a mate

it became a primary means for casual social entertainment

the more numerous and varied the dates and the higher the standing of the person's dated, the higher one's status

dating brought with it freer attitudes......

dating exposed many young people to a greater varitey of potential partners, the decision to marry was cast in a new light

the most common justification offered in court for the few divorces of the 1880's was that he wasn't and adequate provider or she didn't carry out her duties in the home

by the 1920's fewer persons participated in family economies such as farming.........more people were involved in work settings where cash wages allowed individuals to purchase daily necessities

the mutual dependency in dealing with various basic life functions.......began to diminish

a new notion emerged, popularized by psychologists...... that a successful marriage was based primarily on affection and companionship

couples unable or unwilling to do so (resolve difficulties) were better off separating

some but not all states eased divorce requirements

************************************************

We know it is sin that causes divorce, but this was interesting to see somebody break it down, sad but interesting.
My husband is teaching church history and says this often......"these changes did not come about overnight." They happened little bits at a time. People accepting wrong thinking it wouldn't hurt. Nobody notices, then one day you have this HUGE issue you have to deal with.
Divorce, heretical churches, no separation standards, can't do this or that to your kids cause they will report you..........breakdowns do NOT happen overnight.
If someone has the come-aparts today, they were NOT o.k. yesterday.
Be careful of the little sins, the things you think won't matter. All of it matters.
Don't let anything get by you that needs to be stopped.

a quote from Fiddler on the Roof.........where will it end? where will it end?

15 comments:

Mrs.B. said...

Very interesting, thank you for sharing the quotes. It sounds like a great book to read. (o:

CONNIE'S THOUGHTS FROM THE HEART said...

I know as I was growing up, I only knew of one person connected to our families who had been divorced and then at times it was wispered about.

If people would learn to follow the rules set down by God concerning divorce there would be very few divorces. People think that divorce was given as a means to escape situations that they don't want to take the time and energy to work out through the Lord but in reality it was given because of the "hardness of men's hearts. Oh, if we could only learn that God's ways are best and they are the ones that always give us the most joy. Love, Mom McEntire

Peach said...

Thank you.
Velly intellesting!

Just Theresa said...

I never seen divorce broken down like that before. But no matter how one looks at it it's still a sin to divorce.

zan said...

I don't think divorce is a sin. I think that sin leads to divorce. I was reading that some theologians think that Moses divorced his first wife after the circumcision episode and took another wife. That is actually why Miriam and Aaron were jealous and upset with Moses.

I do think that most divorces are unnecessary. Very few couple get divorced because of fornication and adultery. Most of the time it is because they aren't "in love" anymore.

Just Theresa said...

The bible never says Moses got a divorce. That is pure speculation.

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Mark 10: 11-12 And he saith unto them, whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery aganinst her.
And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Exodus 20: 14 the 7th commandment; Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Divorce looks like a sin to me.

Pastor McEntire said...

Divorce is most of the time a sin. The Bible provides very narrow boundaries for seeking divorce, ie. fornication/adultery.

When divorce is sought under these circumstances it is permitted although it is clearly stated that it is because of the hardness of one's heart. Under these very narrow conditions I don't think divorce could be considered a sin.

Now the remarriage issue is altogether something else. I believe a very compelling argument can be made that remarriage even in cases of permissible divorce is forbidden.

My thoughts.

Happymama said...

Great post! "Falling apart" truly does not happen over night. Sin will build up until it finally causes you to crash and burn!

That post also says a lot for dating vs courtship!

~Kristi

Michele said...

Courtship is one old fashioned thing I don't mind going back to!
That will help TODAY be the good old days.

zan said...

So divorce is the the only sin one must do penance for by remaining single for the rest of your life. Is there no forgiveness or are you always married to that person even though the divorced spouse has remarried? I never understood this. God never says you should remain single forever after you divorce someone. I think Christians have more forgiveness in their hearts for murderers than divorced and remarried persons.

I can't expound much on this subject as I am very busy today. Maybe later.

zan said...

If anyone has time ( alot of it) you should check out this series of articles about divorce and remarriage. The author explains it better than I ever could.

Have a good day.

http://gemstonesrestored.blogspot.com/2005/10/gospel-for-miserably-married-pt-1.html

Sorry. I don't know how to do links. :-(

Mobunny said...

well Zan.......I at least know how to cut and paste!!!!!
:)

Pastor McEntire said...

Zan,

I did take the time to read the articles and my opinion is that she takes a great deal of liberty with the Scripture.

She has allowed the prevelance of divorce/remarriage in the culture to determine her understanding of Scripture instead of allowing the Scripture to determine her understanding of divorce/remarriage.

She seems to be arguing that if you are not happy in your marriage then you have the liberty to end it.

Her poor interpretation skills especially in relation to Moses and Zipporah, the two becoming one flesh, being married for eternity to name a few, raises concerns about her method of exegesis.

zan said...

Well, we will just have to agree to disagree. I did not agree with everything she said, just fyi, but, I do think she brought up some good points that I had never thought of, especially in regards to having a certificate of divorce in the OT to protect the woman from stoning. I had never thought about that. Critics always say that God does not protect innocent women who are used by men, but he does.

I do think that sometimes you do need to understand culture to interpret scripture, but that is a discussion for another time and one I am not qualified to make.

I do appreciate you loving manner in responding because this subject can stir up so much hate. I don't understand why divorce and remarriage is the unforgiveable sin in so many Christian circles? Some would even suggest that you leave your spouse if they had been previously married and break up another family.To believe that means that you are really never truly divorced and are always married. Do I smell Roman Catholic mysticm? Penance to divorce is remaining single forever.

My husband was married to a very bad woman. Not going to go into detail, but he believed that he could not divorce her (even though from a worldly view he had a right). He believed that he had no biblical grounds for divorce and left his bad marriage in God's hands. He believed that God would "fix" his bad marriage somehow, but never considered divorce. Well, after his wife's sins led her to a repeated adultery (not just once, but repeatedly) he decided that he had to divorce her. She was living with another man. Now where does it say in the Bible that he should never remarry? His ex-wife has remarried. At 28 yrs old should he become celibate? Maybe monastaries aren't such a bad idea if that should be the case. My husband was shunned by many Christians for being divorced, btw. A lot of his friends even told him that he should stay away from them because he would be a negative influence on their family because he was divorced. So, his wife abandoned him and so did his Christian family.

I think if God wanted divorced people to never remarry,again. He would have made it pretty clear. I think a lot of theologians have taken liberty with certain doctrines like Mariology. If God had wanted Mary to be mediatrix, don't you think he would have mentioned it in His Word, somewhere? But I digress...

I don't see that my husband or I sinned or are living in sin by marrying. We have two children and I think it would be sinful to break up this family that God has ordained. I realize that not everyone might agree with this and I am resigned to that. We got married with the blessing of both our parents under the direction of my Orthodox Presbyterian pastor.

My husband went to a church where they put divorced/remarried men on a lower level, yet let a man who spent 25 yrs in jail for murder become an elder. This seems inconsistent. Where is the forgiveness?

BTW, I hate divorce. I am not one of those people that smile at Christians who divorce for any old reason and think that God will forgive them later. That is testing God and is a huge no-no!

I have written enough personal info for the world to see. I should stop. If anyone is going to respond negatively, please do it in a nice way or I might hate you for the rest of my life.j/k;-) This is my family you are talking about.

PS. Jay Adams wrote a good book called Divorce and Remarriage. You might want to check it out. ( I think that is what it is called.)

Pastor McEntire said...

zan,

I think I am going to post on this issue on my blog.